We're home. It's probably not a shock to anyone that we cut our time in Florida a little short in hopes that we wouldn't miss baby Eden's arrival. So far, our early departure has been unnecessary. Please pray for Rach. She's REALLY ready for this baby. And we aren't at all sorry to be home. We've been able to see a few of you, and are looking forward to catching up with the rest, maybe tomorrow, depending on Eden's cooperation.

I still haven't finished the reading I planned, so I'll put off my responses and observations another week. Instead, I want to reflect on a headline you may have seen this week.

As we started our drive home on Monday, Janna saw stories online regarding the Southern Baptist Convention and the release of the report of the independent investigation into sexual abuse and coverups. It made for a very sober drive to be sure. I was aware of some of the things related to the story but hadn't followed it closely at all. How terribly sad and tragic! One man named in the report is a pastor whom I've heard preach, whose church I've attended, and whose sermons I've recommended to others (maybe even you). To hear about allegations against him hit me hard, almost like it was personal.

If you've not heard about this or read anything, it may be just as well if you didn't. There may be things we can or should learn, but there also may be dangers and temptations associated with going down this rabbit hole. So please use discernment before digging into this stuff. And maybe, if it's something you don't read about yourself, you can still glean some lessons through my little bit of reading and a lot more of reflecting.

Reflection #1: I should probably read Knowing Sin (Mark Jones) again. Whenever I'm rattled by human sin, it's probably because I don't understand what the Bible teaches about sin. One of the quotes I highlighted in the book says, "If I were more deeply convinced of my utter helplessness, I think I would not be so alarmed when I hear of the falls of other men" (Jones is quoting Robert Murray M'Cheyne). Now it seems also prophetic that I'd highlight that passage. How I need to be convinced of my utter helplessness in the face of the deceptive, defiling power of sin! Spirit of God, please show me!

Reflection #2: I should probably choose my heroes and role models more carefully. There's nothing inherently wrong with big churches. And I don't think there's anything wrong with ambitions to reach and disciple more and more people, to grow a church. BUT it is possible, it seems, to pursue (and achieve) these things while somehow not pursuing (and finding) Christ. I started thinking about who the Bible tells us to follow and why (and why not). "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1). What's clear in the context is that Paul is not talking about imitating his SUCCESS in ministry. Though he is seeking the advantage of many, that they may be saved (10:33), he is talking about imitating his sacrificial, selfless SERVICE. He's talking about Christlike character. He's talking about glorifying God by his love of neighbor. And what about Philippians 3:17? "Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us." Again, we're to imitate the WALK, not the WORK of God's faithful servants. He goes on to warn about bad examples, and it seems he's not talking about bad examples outside the church, but inside. Apparently, even among church leaders there are "many...[who] walk as enemies of the cross of Christ...with minds set on earthly things" (3:18-19). Enemies of the cross proudly pursue power and worldly wisdom instead of humbly embracing weakness and what is foolish to the world. And then, Hebrews 13:7 says, "Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith." By now I shouldn't be surprised to see what the Bible consistently teaches. It's not the outcome of their WORK, but the outcome of their WAY OF LIFE that is to be considered. If the fruit is good, the root is faith. So imitate that faith. Imitate that way of life.

Reflection #3: I should prioritize in my life the same things I'm looking for in suitable leaders/examples: service over success, walk or way of life over work. During my sabbatical, I'm trying to give myself to Psalm 92 and the first paragraph of John 15. I'm trying to determine what it looks like to finish well (not soon, I hope, but well), to be fruitful. While that certainly has implications for the work God's called me to and gifted me for, it has a lot more to do with loving him and loving neighbors, with how I'm living and serving and reflecting Christ rather than how Calvary Church or the community of Plainfield responds to my life and service. Whether the finish line for me is tomorrow or in 30 years, I want to be giving thanks to the Lord, singing praises to his name, declaring to anyone who'll listen that he is loving and faithful and upright, and rejoicing at his works (Psalm 92). I want to be abiding in him with his words abiding in me, to be praying and glorifying the Father, to be abiding in his love and keeping his commandments, to be joyful because of his joy in me, and to be loving you and others (John 15:1-17).

Reflection #4: I should keep my eyes on Jesus and point others to Jesus, because people will fail me, and I will fail others.